cynic?

last year, i remember vividly.. i was a hopeless romantic.. i believed so much in love that i am sure i used to really tick some people off with my fairy tale ideals.. i remember in my teens, reading was like a fashion fad.. we started from baby sitters club to nancy drew, the Hardy boys.. and finally to the famous "mills and boons"... it was the trend of my teenage years... romantic literature that made us build castles in the air.. we believed so much in the fantasy that they created, a knight in shining armour riding on a white horse, coming to save his beautiful princess and living happily ever after...hmmmmm..... we practically lived the dream...
now though, my teenage years far gone, it still took a while to begin to understand that such fantasies are just that...fantasies.. there is no knight in shining armour, there is no white horse. I think it just hit me last year actually. i wouldn't say i am a cynic, i am just a realist. Men are just human beings, they make mistakes, they fart, use the toilet, sometimes have smelly breath... they have almost the same fears as we do.. fear of failing.. fear of being rejected and all that... just like us... and guess what, sometimes they also need rescuing...
They are not mythical creatures that we should put on a pedastal... they are just men... lets treat them like that, be real with them... develop a friendship with them and stop building castles in the air even before they say hi to you.
Most importantly though, i have realised that what we idolise can actually break us, simple question, can you tell whan someone treats you like a demi-god?, figures that you can do no evil? i know i can .. and guess what, it pisses the hell out of me. I prefer guys who start out as my friend... don't psyche (for lack of a better word) me, don't even try to wine and dine me.. just be my friedn and be there for me.. and it'll be a pleasant suprise when i find out that you like me "that way" and no.. i am not talking playing mind games (friends don't play mind games...duuuuhh?)
so don't worship or over-pamper a man that hasn't put a ring on your finger yet, be real with him... and burn all thos castles that you have built... before someone else does...

single bliss?

is there such a thing as single bliss?
really, i ask myself, somedays it seems as though i am living my life like its golden. whistling through like i just won a million pounds (250,000,000 naira) and life couldn't be better. I am happy to be as i am... free to come and go as i please, not having to worry about some other persons plans, that i have to see him or bla bla bla... other times i do miss having someone around and i mope like a grey cloud just appeared on the horizon of victoria island skylines
but lets face, no man is an island... you know when i was little and i used to attempt to watch some horror films, somethings just didn't make sense to me, a woman would be chased by this dark, morbid creature on the streets and she would run to her house, which by the way is empty cos she stays alone... and i keep wondering... why not run to your sister/brother or husband or friends house... that way the monster will take longer killing you cos he'll have so many other pple to kill first...lol... warped i know but hey... it made more sense to me for a survival plan.
then i realised that in the developed world, the strong family ties which we thrive on here are almost non existent there. Its our culture to have family and loved ones around us, although for some pple, family is a den of lions waiting to devour you..lol but for the fortunate ones, family is the safe nest that you have being blessed you, even when they annoy the crap out of you and you feel like ignoring them for the next decade and more... you just can't. What i am trying to say here is (before i was side tracked) no matter how much we feign it, we weren't meant to be alone... we were made to enjoy the companionship of our better half, for lack of a better word, some call it soul mate (although for the life of me i can't fathom what that is supposed to mean...duh?) we were made to love, to make love to and to care for someone that loves us right back...
i don't believe anyone that says they can't love anyone back... thats just a load of hogwash, it's like putting a green plant outside without sunshine and rain... it'll eventually wither and die...
Sure cynicism creeps in and we think love is dead and make believe, but if it were...why are we still here... hopeful that one day we will find our better half?

do i?

do i ignite your fire... sometimes i wonder about the fixation about sex and all that goes with it..
don't get me wrong, i think sex is beautiful... within the confines for which it was meant... marriage. sex outside of marriage may seem sweet for the whole of 5 minutes but hey... lets look at the flip side of the coin...
girl meets boy...boy meets girl, they get on and there is some form of chemistry, it starts from the little touches here and there and then they stumble unto soft sheets(i think it goes like that... )
now the relationship hasn't been defined... in the girls eyes at least, she waits for some form of definition and the man stalls... wondering why.. should anything be defined... the girl feels used, her confidence feels like left over bread that is all mildewy and rock hard... the man feels good (i think it's a male ego thing for guys...lol)
now this is where the struggle begins for women, sex is not just sex.. it goes deeper than that, for niaja women.. or should i say from my small world, sex is associated with love for us, we don't actually engage in the act except we actually love or are close to loving the guy (of course there are exceptions where this isn't the case) but for guys its different.
thats where sometimes we shoot ourselves in the foot, we tend to think men think like us but i think we should wake up and smell the hot coffee... they just don't... sex is just that for them ( a majority of them anyways)
there is no fast and hard rule for this but i think that one of the major selling points for us is the ability to hold out when they can't seem to...